


Kick Your Ass

by apollothyme



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollothyme/pseuds/apollothyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: "Rhodey going all protective best friend on Steve during the early days of their relationship (how come Tony's the only one who ever gets the "You'd better not hurt him!" speech?)"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kick Your Ass

Sometimes when people think of Captain America, they think of this great, spectacular man who punched Hitler in the face two hundred times during World War II. They think of a national hero who would die for his country, of a loving friend, or maybe even a passionate lover. But they certainly never think of Captain America as a scared man, which was quite accurate because Captain America wasn’t scared of anything at all.

Steve Rogers, on the other hand, had a nice fancy list of things - not fears, do take notice - just  _things_  he’d rather avoid. Like having a fight with the Hulk, or having a fight with any of his friends for that matter; most horror movies didn’t do much to him, though the ones with lots of blood seemed to bring back bad memories from the war; and he wasn’t very passionate about being alone in the dark either. All in all, it was a quite normal and  _relatively_  small list of things an average person would rather avoid. So Steve was a bit disheartened when he added James Rupert Rhodes, also known as Rhodey and Tony Stark’s best friend, to his list.

He and Tony were dating now, and Steve wasn’t even sure on how things started - just one day Tony had asked him if he wanted to see Inception with him in the Mansion’s cinema room, and he’d said yes. Midway through the movie, Tony put his hand next to Steve’s crotch, shocking the hell out of Steve, who was too busy paying attention to Cobb’s face highly enhanced on the screen to notice Tony’s advances, and punched Tony in the face before he even realized what the hell he was doing. Afterwards he dragged a bleeding Tony out of the room, apologized one million times, fixed him up, and then had to literally force Tony to explain himself before Tony ran away through embarrassment by whatever had been running across his mind when he groped Steve.

His explanation was confusing, really confusing, and Tony was usually pretty confusing when he tried to explain something, but this was even more confusing than usual, and that was saying a lot. It was a mix of broken sentences with lots of hand gestures and flapping around. All the way through, Tony looked like he wished to be anywhere but there, underneath Steve’s attentive gaze. The most confusing part wasn’t even Tony’s way of expressing himself; it was the simple fact that Tony had just admitted he liked Steve, and he wanted them to be something more than just friends. While Steve had thought about the possibility of dating Tony, he had never actually thought Tony would also want to date him, because Tony was a luscious entrepreneur who lived in the future and Steve was just a boy from Brooklyn who lived in the past. But Tony seemed to really mean his words, so Steve said yes when the other man asked him if he would like to be his boyfriend and they, well, started dating.

They decided to take things slowly, because Tony didn’t want to mess things up and Steve wasn’t very experienced in relationships - at all - so during the first couple of days together, they mostly just talked and traded a couple of kisses now and then. This lasted for about one week; until one day, Tony barged into Steve’s room without knocking to find a very naked Steve toweling off. Afterwards, it was all a hazy mess of Tony stripping himself while he jumped on the bed and Steve locking the door without a second glance.

When they got out of the bedroom, three hours later, with hands entwined and stupid smiles that Steve had never had the chance to share with anyone else before, they found a banner up on the living room’s door with the words "CONGRATULATIONS ON SEX" written in purple. Inside the living room itself were all of their friends and coworkers, some looking a bit awkward being there, others (mostly the Avengers) drinking shots off of Thor’s chest.

This was a little bit too much, even for the Avengers, but it was also nice to know that your friends are all okay with the fact that you now have a boyfriend, and that boyfriend is the living legend Captain America or the genius billionaire Tony Stark. It was also a bit surprising, considering the fact that they hadn’t told anyone yet; but not that weird once you remembered that you lived in the same house as a government spy.

So it was nice, all of their friends were okay with them dating, and Steve was happy. He wasn’t sure what kind of relationship he really had with Tony, since they were still mostly just trying to adapt to one another, but all of it seemed to be going fine. That was, until, Rhodey pulled Steve away from the party into the kitchen and gave him a really, really impressive glare.

"So you’re dating Tony now."

"Err... Yes?" Was this a trick question? It sounded like a trick question to Steve, since not even two minutes ago he’d been kissing Tony in the middle of the room where everyone could see them.

"Look, Steve… Tony’s my best friend, but I like you, so I’ll only say this once and I want you to know this very well: if you break my best friend’s heart I am going to kick your ass."

"I – wait, what?"

"I’m going to kick your ass Steve, so don’t. Do. Anything." Each word was punctuated by Rhodey’s finger hitting Steve’s chest. "Stupid." With one final glare Rhodey left the kitchen, leaving Steve feeling a mix of fear and slight confusion.

Rhodey was an impressive man; he was in the air force, part-time member of the Avengers, he was a real American hero - someone Steve definitely admired, not to mention that Tony had told him a fair share of stories where Rhodey basically saved everyone’s ass. But before that day, Steve had never really seen Rhodey as anyone to be scared of; he saw him as just another partner in the fighting-bad-guys business. But now his opinion seemed to be quickly changing.

Rhodey really looked like he could kick his ass. Yeah, Steve is Captain America and technically a superhuman because of the serum and all that, but Rhodey really fucking looked like he was going to kick his ass. He looked like the kind of guy who would offer Tony a shoulder to cry on, and afterwards steal a shotgun to end Steve’s pathetic little heart-breaking life.

It’s not like Steve was planning on breaking Tony’s heart anytime now; in fact, that was literally the last thing he wanted because he cared for Tony so much, more than he had ever cared for someone else before. Which was almost ridiculous, since they’d only started dating just over a week ago. But then again, they’d been good friends for months beforehand.

And that was the key part of their relationship actually, because Steve kind of had Tony all figured out by now. He was missing a few parts that he was sure Tony would share with him with time, but by now he knew the basics on what he should and shouldn’t do. Like not giving Tony coffee after six p.m. unless you want him to spend the whole night working, or how to gently wake him up in the mornings for an urgent mission, or how to coax Tony into sharing whatever was troubling his mind (and there’s almost always something troubling his mind) with you. And by knowing those things, Steve wasn’t afraid of being with Tony; he wasn’t constantly afraid of screwing things up, like he used to think he probably would if he and Tony ever got together, back before the Inception night (Again, just over one week ago, but somehow it seemed miles away now. Steve had already started categorizing things in his mind as before and after Inception Night. He should also try to find a new title for that night since Inception made it sound like Tony had hypnotized him or something).

So Steve wasn’t very worried; except after the talk with Rhodey, well, he kind of started to freak out. But just a little bit.

He was still acting normal during the party, hanging around Tony with an easy smile plastered on his face as they lightly chatted with Bruce. It was easy, just being there with his friends and with his boyfriend. When the night finally came to an end, Tony practically dragged him into his bedroom with forced kisses and tugs on his clothes. Steve wasn’t nervous, because sex wasn’t a new thing, and Tony always knew what he was doing; so self-assured and comforting. Even if Steve had been a virgin before meeting Tony, he probably wouldn’t be afraid or nervous about doing it as long as it was with Tony.

Some people think that Tony is the more broken one in the relationship, the one who needs more comforting and attention. Steve guesses that could be correct, except it isn’t, not really. People have been idolizing Captain America since the moment he entered the ice, talking about the legend rather than the person. Steve Rogers isn’t perfect; he has nightmares of the war sometimes at night. Everyone he used to know is dead, and he never even got the chance to say goodbye to his best friend. He’s messed up, just like everybody else; he might not have succumbed to an alcohol addiction like Tony did, but the only reason why that didn’t happen is because Steve can’t get drunk in the first place. 

So instead of crying over spoiled milk, Steve moved on; or tried to, at least. But he was still cracked around the edges. Sometimes too rough, sometimes too soft. It was hard; being himself was hard, because even though he’s been in the 21st century for a couple of months now, almost everyday he finds something new and confusing. But Steve tries to not let it get to him. Being around Thor kind of helps, since the big guy is in a situation similar to his, except sometimes his lack of knowledge and experience does get to him, no matter how much he tries not to let it because it’s hard to fight for something you don’t know. But that’s where Tony comes in; fast-paced and quirky Tony with more secrets than Steve can count, who seems to know everything and not know anything at the same time. Tony, who doesn’t judge Steve for what he doesn’t know or what he did. Tony, who seems to be the one steady rock in Steve’s life - as weird as that might sound - always willing to help Steve, and explain to him how microwaves and cell phones work.

Tony, he’s a bit of a mess really, just like everyone thinks he is. But he’s also so amazing it’s almost blinding, he’s genuinely brilliant. And there’s so much about him that people don’t know; it’s almost a bit infuriating because every time Steve sees someone criticize Tony, he feels like they’re making the biggest mistake of their lives. They don’t know what Tony’s really like, or how Tony would put himself in front of a bullet if it meant he could save somebody else’s life, or how he sometimes spends hours working without end on anonymous charity projects that will help managing water in Africa. Tony was breathtaking; and whenever Steve was around him - which was a lot lately - he felt like he was never supposed to be anywhere else in the world.

Problem is though, as much as Steve felt comfortable with being around Tony, it was a bit harder for him to be around Tony and Rhodey. Because Rhodey also lived in the house now, and he was constantly watching them - well, he probably wasn’t constantly watching them but Steve got the feeling he was. When he and Tony were alone watching a movie together, or when they were trying to cook a simple meal for all of the Avengers and failing miserably, or even when Tony was busy fixing the motor of one of his fancy cars in the workshop and Steve was just there, drawing and keeping him company, he still got the feeling that somehow Rhodey was watching him, just waiting for Steve to screw things up. Which was creepy, really creepy, but mostly just scary.

Steve became a bit afraid of his own skin; he avoided being in the same room as Rhodey whenever he could, his attention focus during normal missions got a little bit sketchy, he was more attentive towards Tony, way more careful with almost everything around him, afraid of knocking over vases all the time - because suddenly the whole house seemed to be full of vases, and Steve was always almost knocking one to the ground but never really doing it. It was frightening, seriously frightening - and all Steve could think about was that there  _definitely_  weren’t that many vases in the house before. So he was now more careful than usual, but somehow not enough for most people to notice. It was enough for Tony, who now spent most of his free time in Steve’s company, to notice though. 

"Steve, could you please, for the love of God, tell me what’s bothering you?"

"Bothering me? Why should anything be bothering me? Nothing’s bothering me,  _I’m fine._ " Maybe, just maybe, Steve’s voice raised an octave on the last words. Tony didn’t even bother dignifying him with an answer, simply raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.

Tony had him trapped in between his arms against a wall in the workshop. Steve knew he could just push Tony away if he really needed to; but there was no point in doing it really, since the doors were all locked and even Jarvis had turned his back on Steve when he’d asked for help. Apparently he was concerned about Steve’s odd behavior as well.

It was like being fifteen again - his mother had found a playboy magazine Bucky had bought for him (birthday gift, Steve had asked for some drawing pencils but Bucky - well, Bucky was just Bucky) and she kept demanding answers from him. She wasn’t even angry, but Steve couldn’t help getting nervous anyway. It was funny how you could put Steve in front of an army of Red Skull soldiers and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash; but the minute you put him in an embarrassing situation in front of people he cares about, Steve turns into a mix of an extremely high pitched voice with constant babbling on the side and just a tiny hint of carefully looking anywhere but said person’s eyes.

Tony continued to stare at him, and as the seconds passed by Steve realized there was really no point in pretending he was fine, because Tony would not give up until he got his answers - and honestly, Steve just felt like he had a weight on his chest and he needed to get it off.

"Rhodey talked to me. He said if I broke your heart he would kick my ass. He also glared a lot and I’m pretty sure I saw him sneaking looks at the knives as he talked."

"Rhodey... Rhodey talked to you?" Tony looked at Steve with an extremely incredulous and baffled look on his face.

"Yeah." It took Tony two more minutes of blankly staring at some spot above Steve’s shoulder before he burst out laughing like a lunatic.

Steve had expected some kind of dramatic reply – well, maybe not even dramatic, just anything but laughing, really. He’d been seriously worried about what Rhodey might do to him, so his brain had started to imagine all the ways he could screw things up with Tony; and there were so fucking many it was unbelievable. And now, Tony was just laughing at him and his worries, and laughing was  _really_  not the most appropriate reaction to how Steve was feeling. Tony must have seen this, because he tried his best to quiet down so he could speak again.

"I’m sorry, I really am Steve. It’s just - I always thought if anyone in our relationship was getting that talk, I’d be the one. Hell, did I get that talk from Pepper. And a group threat from all the Avengers. And from Fury. Also Coulson - surprisingly, the guy really cares for you." Tony started to ramble on a bit, and his focus shifted as he tried to remember the full list of people that had talked to him about not breaking Steve’s innocent, totally not virgin, heart.

"But I really didn’t think that Rhodey would give you the talk. Don’t tell me you took him seriously?" Steve grimaced at Tony. "Oh come on! It’s just talk Steve, you’re Rhodey’s military wet dream, he would never hurt you."

"He sounded pretty serious."

"He always does. Don’t overthink it, he’s just trying to protect me for some reason… not the first time he’s done it, but it still feels a bit weird." Tony looked thoughtful, and that was definitely a sight most didn’t get to see.

Steve knows Tony spends lots of his time thinking about his work and his robots, but how many times did he catch Tony thinking about and evaluating human behavior? The answer is: not many. Tony’s brain is just so quick in analyzing and cutting everything into pieces so he can take a better look, and then store it away. Most of the time he can calculate what you’re gonna do even before you know it yourself, because to Tony humans are just another puzzle waiting to be cracked. But puzzles are configured things that don’t ever change, and most of the time humans are the same thing - easy to read and predict, but at other times they do odd things unexpectedly, and it always throws Tony a bit out of the loop. This was one of those times where he had to think harder and try to find the  _whys_  and the  _whens_  and the _wheres_ , so things start to make more sense in his head, and he can continue analyzing everyone and predicting others.

He looked happy though; quite pleased with whatever track of information was on his mind, and completely lost in his own thoughts. Steve himself felt content in just watching Tony think; the fluorescent lights had been dimmed, probably by Jarvis, and he could now see specks of dust quietly dancing in the air as they shimmered by.

"Are you still overthinking it?" Tony asked after a couple of minutes.

"No, I’m just looking at you." That was corny - definitely corny, and lame - Steve thought, but somehow the moment they were in felt like the perfect moment to be as corny as he liked. Tony just smiled at him.

"Good." He kissed Steve lazily on the mouth, pushing him lightly against the wall. Steve realized he’d been a dumbass for thinking he could ever screw up something so amazing.


End file.
